I'm not even sure what the point of this post is. All I know is that the past few days I've had to come face to face with something I have tried to run from for years. Where do I even begin? Well, let's start at the very beginning...
I am a child of divorce. And through that hard bit of life, I have also had the privilege of having an extra family it seems. Two extra parents, extra brothers, and two extra sets of grandparents. I was in the 7th grade when my parents started dating new people, and my Mom met a man younger than her by 7 years. He became my stepdad when I was 15. Noah has always been great to me and my brother Chess. But this story isn't about him, it's about his mom.
When we met Aundria, she didn't have grandkids yet, but she always treated Chess and me like family. She is by far the kindest person I have ever met in my life. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone, ever. I never heard her raise her voice or speak in anything other than a soft tone of voice. Not like I've forgotten if she had...she really didn't. She hosted us almost every Sunday for lunch. She made the best creamed potatoes. I can still remember how they tasted. I wish we had learned her secret to those awesome potatoes.
About 8 or 9 years ago, she started to forget things. One Sunday she put flour in the tea instead of sugar. Another Sunday, she added cinnamon. You know...just little things that we could kind of giggle about on our way home. It was 7 1/2 years ago she was diagnosed with Dimentia/Alzheimer's. I'll never forget that phone call. I was working for Clinique in a department store, and I sat down right in the middle of the floor and listened to my mom tell me that eventually she wouldn't know me. And she'd never know my children. Not because she was sick and wouldn't be living, but because she wouldn't have the ability to remember. The last time that stands out to me that she and I truly interacted was at my wedding reception. That was 6 years ago.
For 6 years, I've only visited her a little because it was so hard to see her on this journey. She's been living in an assisted care facility for 3 1/2 years now. Until this weekend, I'd only visited her once or twice. I know how horrible it sounds. I'm an adult, no one was going to make me go...but it was so hard to see her so disconnected. Now, her journey is coming to an end.
This weekend, I've had to come to terms with the fact that when things got tough, I walked away out of my own selfishness. It was as though if I didn't have to see what was really happening to her, it wasn't. I didn't have to accept it. Total denial. If you've never had a loved one to go through having this illness, you just can't understand. It's not a forgotten thing here or there...it's total forgetfulness. Even forgetting that you shouldn't put your hands in your dinner plate or how to do even the simplest things. One day, she just didn't walk anymore. It's loving someone who no longer has the ability to even chose to love you in return.
The past two days, I've gone to see her and just watched her sleep. It's been an odd experience because she was always so very ladylike and I think if she knew she was snoring in front of us she would not like it one bit. But she doesn't know...she's been gone for a long time. Alzheimer's is like having someone die twice. It's the only situation I've ever witnessed where it genuinely feels hopeless. There's no turn around. You just don't come out of it.
So, this post, I guess, is an apology. It's a way for me to say I'm sorry to someone who will never hear me, but didn't notice I wasn't around.
Kindness, genuine, unconditional kindness is one thing about her I will never ever forget. My beloved Grandmother, Aundria, is only 68 years old. She hasn't known me for a while now. But I'll always remember her.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monthly Menu Planning and Grocery Shopping Part 2
First of all, let me say that the best thing that's come out of my monthly menu planning and shopping experiment is that there isn't any stress over dinner. Granted, I focused so much on dinner that I kind of forgot our lunches here at the house. Oops. However, next month, I'll know better.
I have a lot of things that will carry over to next month, partially because we traveled a bit to visit family, and partially because we eat a lot of breakfast around here. :) We have some meat in the freezer, and still two gallons of Organic Milk we haven't touched! I'm pretty excited.
We have a lot of new menus in our collection now too. All the recipes I planned for this month were new. I had never made them before. And now I am going to share more of our favorites with you!
Chicken Fried Steak with Creamed Gravy
4 Large, thin ribeyes cut in half
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 cups Panko Bread Crumbs
1 tsp ground pepper
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 cups milk
2 eggs
Oil for frying
Combine Panko, flour, baking powder, salt, and black pepper in a shallow dish. In a second dish, whisk milk and eggs. Dredge chicken in dry mixture, dip in milk mixture, and dredge in dry mixture again. Pour oil to a depth of 1/2 inch in a skillet. Heat oil and fry steaks in bathces, about 10 minutes, adding oil as needed. Turn, fry a couple more minutes until golden brown. Remove to a wire rack on top of a pan. You can place the pan in the oven to keep the steaks warm.
Creamed Gravy:
1/3 cup flour
2-3 tbsp pan drippings
3 cups of milk
salt and pepper to taste
Carefully drain all but 2-3 tbsp of the pan drippings from the skillet. Add flour adn cook over medium high heat. Whisk the flour until it becomes brown and forms a paste. Slowly add the milk, whisking constantly until combined. Let the gravy come to a boil adn then reduce heat and simmer until the gravy thickens. Salt and Pepper and serve over Steak and Mashed Potatoes.
**This recipe can be repeated with thinly cut chicken too. This is the best "chicken fried" recipe I have tried!
Balsamic Chicken with Roasted Vegetables
10 (20 oz) Chicken Thighs
20 Medium Asparagus, ends trimmed, cut in half
3 Bell Peppers, any color
1 cup carrots
2 Red Onions
10 oz Sliced Mushrooms
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 cup EVOO
1 tsp Sugar
2 cloves of Garlic
Preheat oven to 425. Wash and dry the chicken well. Combine all the ingredients together using your hands and arrange in a very large roasting pan. The vegetables should not touch chicken, and all should end up in a singer layer. Use two baking dishes if necessary. Bake 35-40 minutes. Enjoy!
This post also appears on my cooking blog: discoveringhomemade.blogspot.com
I have a lot of things that will carry over to next month, partially because we traveled a bit to visit family, and partially because we eat a lot of breakfast around here. :) We have some meat in the freezer, and still two gallons of Organic Milk we haven't touched! I'm pretty excited.
We have a lot of new menus in our collection now too. All the recipes I planned for this month were new. I had never made them before. And now I am going to share more of our favorites with you!
Chicken Fried Steak with Creamed Gravy
4 Large, thin ribeyes cut in half
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 cups Panko Bread Crumbs
1 tsp ground pepper
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 cups milk
2 eggs
Oil for frying
Combine Panko, flour, baking powder, salt, and black pepper in a shallow dish. In a second dish, whisk milk and eggs. Dredge chicken in dry mixture, dip in milk mixture, and dredge in dry mixture again. Pour oil to a depth of 1/2 inch in a skillet. Heat oil and fry steaks in bathces, about 10 minutes, adding oil as needed. Turn, fry a couple more minutes until golden brown. Remove to a wire rack on top of a pan. You can place the pan in the oven to keep the steaks warm.
Creamed Gravy:
1/3 cup flour
2-3 tbsp pan drippings
3 cups of milk
salt and pepper to taste
Carefully drain all but 2-3 tbsp of the pan drippings from the skillet. Add flour adn cook over medium high heat. Whisk the flour until it becomes brown and forms a paste. Slowly add the milk, whisking constantly until combined. Let the gravy come to a boil adn then reduce heat and simmer until the gravy thickens. Salt and Pepper and serve over Steak and Mashed Potatoes.
**This recipe can be repeated with thinly cut chicken too. This is the best "chicken fried" recipe I have tried!
Balsamic Chicken with Roasted Vegetables
10 (20 oz) Chicken Thighs
20 Medium Asparagus, ends trimmed, cut in half
3 Bell Peppers, any color
1 cup carrots
2 Red Onions
10 oz Sliced Mushrooms
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 cup EVOO
1 tsp Sugar
2 cloves of Garlic
Preheat oven to 425. Wash and dry the chicken well. Combine all the ingredients together using your hands and arrange in a very large roasting pan. The vegetables should not touch chicken, and all should end up in a singer layer. Use two baking dishes if necessary. Bake 35-40 minutes. Enjoy!
This post also appears on my cooking blog: discoveringhomemade.blogspot.com
Monday, September 24, 2012
Pictures from the Last Few Weeks...
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| Ella Rose has two teeth!! |
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| My Sweet Girls |
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| Silly Carly Beth |
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| She's going to crawl any day now... |
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| Sweet Ella Rose |
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| Carly Beth is into superheroes right now |
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| Real food or not, we have to stop for a frosty on our way to Auntie Jane's! |
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| Ella Rose graduated to the next seat... |
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| We battled over this bite of zucchini for two hours until she fell asleep... |
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Monthly Menu Planning and Grocery Shopping
This month, I decided I was going to plan our menus and shop for the whole month! I did a lot of research online and read other bloggers experiences with shopping for the whole month. It was my hope to come in under $400 which is technically our food budget but I know good and well we spend more than that by eating out when I just don't feel like cooking. I worked for two weeks researching and printing recipes. I picked recipes we'd never had before, and even printed recipes to make our own ketchup and mustard, some muffins and cookies.
On Friday, I went out with my grocery list. I used a printable I found online to help me stay organized. I hit Aldi first and bought everything on my list they had available. I spent $117 roughly. I filled up my cooler in the back of my car and headed to Walmart. At Walmart, I spent about $240 on food. I bought all my meat here. I didn't shy away from the items that I love and are staples in my kitchen: Good quality meats, King Arthur Flour, Ghiradelli chocolate chips, and Organic milk. Even though I was shopping for a whole month and was concerned about the bottom line, I am more concerned about what my family is eating on a regular basis. This whole experiment is pointless if my family isn't staying with our healthy eating and minimal processed foods. I came in at about $50 under my goal of $400. I was really proud of myself!! $50 may not seem like a huge deal but over the course of the year is $600 we can save. That sounds pretty good to me!
I froze three gallons of milk. I also cut the peppers and onions I purchased and put them in freezer bags in the freezer. I froze Asparagus and the other veggies I purchased. I also processed my avocados for future recipes and froze it in freezer containers.
So far, I have made three new recipes of things I printed and I wanted to share them with you because they are SO yummy!!
Crockpot Santa Fe Chicken
Adapted from skinnytaste.com
Yield: 4-6 Servings
Ingredients:
2 Chicken Breasts
1 14.4 oz can Rotel
1 15 oz can Black Beans
1 can Shoepeg Corn
2 cups Chicken Broth
1 Onion, chopped
1 Pepper, Chopped (Any color will do, I used Orange)
1 tsp each: Garlic powder, Cumin, Cayenne Pepper
Salt to taste
Directions:
Combine Chicken broth, beans, corn, Rotel, onion, pepper, and seasonings in the crock pot. Season the chicken breast with salt and lay on top. Cook on low for 10 hours or high for 6 hours. Half and hour before serving, remove the chicken and shred, return to the slow cooker and stir in. Serve over rice, tortillas, or chips for nachos.
Creamy Chicken Marsala
Yield 4-5 servings
Ingredients:
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite size pieces
1 package Baby Bella mushrooms, cut up
1 small onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
3/4 cup Marsala cooking Wine
1/2 cup Chicken Broth
1/2 cup Half & Half or Heavy Cream
1 Pound dry pasta
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
5 tablespoons of butter
Salt and Pepper to taste
Directions
Season chicken with salt and pepper. Melt 1 tbsp in a large skillet. Cook chicken until lightly browned. Transfer to a plate. Boil water, and cook pasta according to the directions on the box.
Melt additional tbsp of butter in the skillet, add garlic, mushrooms and onion and cook for 6 minutes. Add cooked chicken back into the skillet. Add the Marsala, chicken broth adn cream and bring to a boil. Simmer until sauce is slightly thickened.
Drain Pasta and reserve 1/2 cup cooking water. Add the Pasta to the skillet along with 3 tbsp butter and 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese. Cook until the pasta has absorbed some of the sauce, add the reserved pasta water as needed.
Season with Salt and pepper and serve with additional Parmesan cheese if desired.
"Instant" Pancake Mix
Adapted from Alton Brown, foodnetwork.com
Ingredients:
6 cups All-purpose flour (I used 1/2 King Arthur White Whole Wheat and 1/2 King Arthur All Purpose)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon kosher salt
2 tablespoons sugar
Directions: Combine all ingredients in a lidded container, Shake to mix. Use the mix within 3 months.
"Instant" Pancakes
2 eggs, separated
2 cups buttermilk (I used Almond Milk and it was so yummy)
4 tablespoons melted butter
2 cups "Instant" Pancake mix
Heat an electric griddle or frying pan to 350.
Whisk together the egg whites and buttermilk in a small bowl. In another bowl, whisk the egg yolks and melted butter. Pour the liquid ingredients on top of the pancake mix. Using a whisk, mix the batter just enough to bring it together, don't try to work all the lumps out.
CHeck to see that the griddle is hot by places a few drops of water onto the griddle. It's ready if the water dances across the surface.
Lightly butter the griddle, wipe off thoroughly with a paper towel.
Gently ladle the batter onto the griddle. At this point you can sprinkle chocolate chips or fruit into the pancake if you'd like. When bubbles begin to set around the edges of the pancake, it's ready to flip. Gently flip the pancake and continue to cook for 2-3 minutes.
Serve with yummy maple syrup! :)
Yield: 12 pancakes
***This post also appears on my recipe blog: discoveringhomemade.blogspot.com***
On Friday, I went out with my grocery list. I used a printable I found online to help me stay organized. I hit Aldi first and bought everything on my list they had available. I spent $117 roughly. I filled up my cooler in the back of my car and headed to Walmart. At Walmart, I spent about $240 on food. I bought all my meat here. I didn't shy away from the items that I love and are staples in my kitchen: Good quality meats, King Arthur Flour, Ghiradelli chocolate chips, and Organic milk. Even though I was shopping for a whole month and was concerned about the bottom line, I am more concerned about what my family is eating on a regular basis. This whole experiment is pointless if my family isn't staying with our healthy eating and minimal processed foods. I came in at about $50 under my goal of $400. I was really proud of myself!! $50 may not seem like a huge deal but over the course of the year is $600 we can save. That sounds pretty good to me!
I froze three gallons of milk. I also cut the peppers and onions I purchased and put them in freezer bags in the freezer. I froze Asparagus and the other veggies I purchased. I also processed my avocados for future recipes and froze it in freezer containers.
So far, I have made three new recipes of things I printed and I wanted to share them with you because they are SO yummy!!
Crockpot Santa Fe Chicken
Adapted from skinnytaste.com
Yield: 4-6 Servings
Ingredients:
2 Chicken Breasts
1 14.4 oz can Rotel
1 15 oz can Black Beans
1 can Shoepeg Corn
2 cups Chicken Broth
1 Onion, chopped
1 Pepper, Chopped (Any color will do, I used Orange)
1 tsp each: Garlic powder, Cumin, Cayenne Pepper
Salt to taste
Directions:
Combine Chicken broth, beans, corn, Rotel, onion, pepper, and seasonings in the crock pot. Season the chicken breast with salt and lay on top. Cook on low for 10 hours or high for 6 hours. Half and hour before serving, remove the chicken and shred, return to the slow cooker and stir in. Serve over rice, tortillas, or chips for nachos.
Creamy Chicken Marsala
Yield 4-5 servings
Ingredients:
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite size pieces
1 package Baby Bella mushrooms, cut up
1 small onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
3/4 cup Marsala cooking Wine
1/2 cup Chicken Broth
1/2 cup Half & Half or Heavy Cream
1 Pound dry pasta
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
5 tablespoons of butter
Salt and Pepper to taste
Directions
Season chicken with salt and pepper. Melt 1 tbsp in a large skillet. Cook chicken until lightly browned. Transfer to a plate. Boil water, and cook pasta according to the directions on the box.
Melt additional tbsp of butter in the skillet, add garlic, mushrooms and onion and cook for 6 minutes. Add cooked chicken back into the skillet. Add the Marsala, chicken broth adn cream and bring to a boil. Simmer until sauce is slightly thickened.
Drain Pasta and reserve 1/2 cup cooking water. Add the Pasta to the skillet along with 3 tbsp butter and 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese. Cook until the pasta has absorbed some of the sauce, add the reserved pasta water as needed.
Season with Salt and pepper and serve with additional Parmesan cheese if desired.
"Instant" Pancake Mix
Adapted from Alton Brown, foodnetwork.com
Ingredients:
6 cups All-purpose flour (I used 1/2 King Arthur White Whole Wheat and 1/2 King Arthur All Purpose)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon kosher salt
2 tablespoons sugar
Directions: Combine all ingredients in a lidded container, Shake to mix. Use the mix within 3 months.
"Instant" Pancakes
2 eggs, separated
2 cups buttermilk (I used Almond Milk and it was so yummy)
4 tablespoons melted butter
2 cups "Instant" Pancake mix
Heat an electric griddle or frying pan to 350.
Whisk together the egg whites and buttermilk in a small bowl. In another bowl, whisk the egg yolks and melted butter. Pour the liquid ingredients on top of the pancake mix. Using a whisk, mix the batter just enough to bring it together, don't try to work all the lumps out.
CHeck to see that the griddle is hot by places a few drops of water onto the griddle. It's ready if the water dances across the surface.
Lightly butter the griddle, wipe off thoroughly with a paper towel.
Gently ladle the batter onto the griddle. At this point you can sprinkle chocolate chips or fruit into the pancake if you'd like. When bubbles begin to set around the edges of the pancake, it's ready to flip. Gently flip the pancake and continue to cook for 2-3 minutes.
Serve with yummy maple syrup! :)
Yield: 12 pancakes
***This post also appears on my recipe blog: discoveringhomemade.blogspot.com***
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Blessed By Her Heart...I Pray She Blesses Yours
In July 2010, I decided to take a leap and totally expose our family's heartbreak with the whole world. (http://toddandmandywatson.blogspot.com/2010/07/to-blogor-not-to-blog.html) On our daughter's 2nd birthday, we had our first miscarriage. I was devastated and angry. I had unrealistic expectations on how my friends should react. It was raw, unbridled emotion. Reading it today, I can still remember how every cell in my body was in disbelief. I was so hurt. My anger could be calculated in direct reference to how many times I heard "God has a plan"... (On a side note, that's not very comforting in the heat of the moment, so wait a bit before offering that bit of insightfulness to someone in the midst of personal tragedy.)
Even though we had been through this awful experience...we decided to continue on our journey to grow our little family from 3 to 4. Through all of this, God blessed me with two very special friendships. We were all on a different version of the same journey: To Grow our families. One of my friends, K, easily had her first daughter, and the other, M, had been pregnant and suffered a miscarriage close to the end of her first trimester. I cannot speak for them, but these ladies helped my mental health and faith so much in the darkest time in my life. You don't understand unless you've walked in our shoes, and it's so hard to expose yourself to people who cannot even begin to understand your pain. It's hard hearing advice from someone who just doesn't know - and that applies to any situation.
In March 2011, we found out we were expecting again. I was hesitantly excited. Our first doctors appointment was at the beginning of May, I waited until I was 9 weeks because I wanted to see a certain doctor. But when the appointment was merely days away...I started to feel very uneasy. I remember talking to my mom and saying "Surely, God isn't going to do this to us again..." But our baby didn't have a heartbeat. It passed away at 7 weeks and 4 days (roughly). The doctor said I had options; I could have a procedure, I could take a drug that would induce the miscarriage or...I could wait it out. We came home, talked it over, and decided to wait. Thankfully, it only took a week, and I was able to safely deal with it on my own. To be honest, part of me died. I have never been more aware of what was happening to me than those few days. I was scared, hurt, and felt like it was a hopeless situation. I was unsure if I still wanted to travel my journey. My husband wanted to keep going, but his pain wasn't the same as mine. I'm not discounting what he felt, I'm just saying...being a mom is different.
In July, I went back to the doctor so they could run tests and help us to figure out why we were able to have Carly so easily...but now we were struggling. They were doing blood work for all kinds of things, and the doctor had them do a pregnancy test, just in case. IT WAS POSITIVE. I have never been more shocked in my life. I'll never forget that afternoon. However, I was JUST BARELY pregnant. I was in and out of the doctors office for the next month every couple days for ultrasounds and blood work. Thankfully...this pregnancy was meant to be.
My Two friends were starting new parts of their journeys. They were starting injections and fertility treatments. The three of us soldiered on together, praying forcefully for the well being of my baby, and the creation of theirs.
My one friend, K, has an awesome blog. She is the most crafty and resourceful person I know! She can figure out how to do anything. I had been encouraging her to be honest about her journey...
and in November she made her first post: http://southerndisposition.blogspot.com/2011/11/infertility.html , February her second: http://southerndisposition.blogspot.com/2012/02/infertility-part-ii.html,
March her third: http://southerndisposition.blogspot.com/2012/03/infertility-part-iii-life-after-ectopic.html
and last night...her final post on her (in)Fertility Journeyhttp://southerndisposition.blogspot.com/2012/08/infertility-part-iv-final-update.html
I'm sharing this with you...because maybe your journey is similar to mine, or maybe it's similar to her's. I think the most invaluable thing I have learned through all of this is that I'm truly not alone in what I have been through or how I feel. And I'm sharing her story with you today because, well, even if you've never been there, you should read it. Not everyone gets pregnant the first try. Not everyone who easily has their first child, can have the same "luck" from then on...
It's also worth mentioning that our other friend, is finally pregnant and their baby is due in December. I've been so proud of her for her sticking to what she and her husband have wanted even when it's unpopular. Much to the chagrin of some family and friends, they are waiting until the baby is born to know the sex. (yeah!) They've waited so long they want to enjoy every bit of excitement, joy and surprise.
All of our journeys are worth celebrating...and they aren't over. My husband is one of 4, and I am one of 3...but also, we have our hearts set on a boy. I'll continue on this journey until it's over. Since the birth of our daughter, Ella Rose in March, We have lost another baby. We have 5 children now ... two here in our home, growing and thriving every day...and three in heaven dancing and playing until one of us gets there to bless them with a name. I mourn them, but I am not concerned about them...between Jesus and GangGang, I know they are being taken care of.
I hope the honesty of one or both of us blesses you. K is on of my heroes. I'd be so proud to be just like her when I grow up...
Even though we had been through this awful experience...we decided to continue on our journey to grow our little family from 3 to 4. Through all of this, God blessed me with two very special friendships. We were all on a different version of the same journey: To Grow our families. One of my friends, K, easily had her first daughter, and the other, M, had been pregnant and suffered a miscarriage close to the end of her first trimester. I cannot speak for them, but these ladies helped my mental health and faith so much in the darkest time in my life. You don't understand unless you've walked in our shoes, and it's so hard to expose yourself to people who cannot even begin to understand your pain. It's hard hearing advice from someone who just doesn't know - and that applies to any situation.
In March 2011, we found out we were expecting again. I was hesitantly excited. Our first doctors appointment was at the beginning of May, I waited until I was 9 weeks because I wanted to see a certain doctor. But when the appointment was merely days away...I started to feel very uneasy. I remember talking to my mom and saying "Surely, God isn't going to do this to us again..." But our baby didn't have a heartbeat. It passed away at 7 weeks and 4 days (roughly). The doctor said I had options; I could have a procedure, I could take a drug that would induce the miscarriage or...I could wait it out. We came home, talked it over, and decided to wait. Thankfully, it only took a week, and I was able to safely deal with it on my own. To be honest, part of me died. I have never been more aware of what was happening to me than those few days. I was scared, hurt, and felt like it was a hopeless situation. I was unsure if I still wanted to travel my journey. My husband wanted to keep going, but his pain wasn't the same as mine. I'm not discounting what he felt, I'm just saying...being a mom is different.
In July, I went back to the doctor so they could run tests and help us to figure out why we were able to have Carly so easily...but now we were struggling. They were doing blood work for all kinds of things, and the doctor had them do a pregnancy test, just in case. IT WAS POSITIVE. I have never been more shocked in my life. I'll never forget that afternoon. However, I was JUST BARELY pregnant. I was in and out of the doctors office for the next month every couple days for ultrasounds and blood work. Thankfully...this pregnancy was meant to be.
My Two friends were starting new parts of their journeys. They were starting injections and fertility treatments. The three of us soldiered on together, praying forcefully for the well being of my baby, and the creation of theirs.
My one friend, K, has an awesome blog. She is the most crafty and resourceful person I know! She can figure out how to do anything. I had been encouraging her to be honest about her journey...
and in November she made her first post: http://southerndisposition.blogspot.com/2011/11/infertility.html , February her second: http://southerndisposition.blogspot.com/2012/02/infertility-part-ii.html,
March her third: http://southerndisposition.blogspot.com/2012/03/infertility-part-iii-life-after-ectopic.html
and last night...her final post on her (in)Fertility Journeyhttp://southerndisposition.blogspot.com/2012/08/infertility-part-iv-final-update.html
I'm sharing this with you...because maybe your journey is similar to mine, or maybe it's similar to her's. I think the most invaluable thing I have learned through all of this is that I'm truly not alone in what I have been through or how I feel. And I'm sharing her story with you today because, well, even if you've never been there, you should read it. Not everyone gets pregnant the first try. Not everyone who easily has their first child, can have the same "luck" from then on...
It's also worth mentioning that our other friend, is finally pregnant and their baby is due in December. I've been so proud of her for her sticking to what she and her husband have wanted even when it's unpopular. Much to the chagrin of some family and friends, they are waiting until the baby is born to know the sex. (yeah!) They've waited so long they want to enjoy every bit of excitement, joy and surprise.
All of our journeys are worth celebrating...and they aren't over. My husband is one of 4, and I am one of 3...but also, we have our hearts set on a boy. I'll continue on this journey until it's over. Since the birth of our daughter, Ella Rose in March, We have lost another baby. We have 5 children now ... two here in our home, growing and thriving every day...and three in heaven dancing and playing until one of us gets there to bless them with a name. I mourn them, but I am not concerned about them...between Jesus and GangGang, I know they are being taken care of.
I hope the honesty of one or both of us blesses you. K is on of my heroes. I'd be so proud to be just like her when I grow up...
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Over You...
"It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone
Cause you went away,
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you"
Over You - By Miranda Lambert
I can't believe it's been six months (yesterday) since GangGang passed away. I don't think I've really accepted it. Visiting Bluffton last week was really weird. It was the first time since we were there for her funeral. I kept expecting her to come walking into the kitchen with her walker. To say I miss her is a huge understatement. I am amazed at how someone affected my life so much in a short period of time and from long distance!
I tell Ella Rose about GangGang a lot. I never want us to forget her or not talk about her. I want Ella to know everything about the amazing lady she's named after.
It's selfish, but I wish she was still here. She lived a very long and very full life. I'm just not ready to give her up yet. I know she's healed, and reunited with her husband in heaven...and I know I'll see her again.
I miss you so much, GangGang. Have fun playing with my babies until I get to heaven too. I know you'll be waiting for all of us with open arms.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Carly Beth's 4th Birthday Party
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| Beautiful Invitation created by my friend Kendra over at Southern Disposition |
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| Carly Beth in her Birthday Hat made by Daddy with her Mamaw Ruth |
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| Carly Beth and Amanda...or Damanda as she calls her :) |
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| Mickey Mouse Shaped Nutella Sandwiches |
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| Pinata!! I'll be posting a tutorial soon on how we made this! |
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| Todd, his Mom, and Ella Rose. They all look alike! |
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| Carly and her cousin Harleigh |
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
An Update in Pictures...
Ella Rose
Carly Beth and her friend Jett
Carly Beth Reading to me...
Someone likes Ice Cream...
Carly Beth, Papa, and Ella Rose
Someone got a haircut...
Granna, Carly Beth and Ella Rose
Carly Beth and her friend Jett
Carly Beth Reading to me...
Someone likes Ice Cream...
Carly Beth, Papa, and Ella Rose
Someone got a haircut...
Granna, Carly Beth and Ella Rose
Location:8th Ave NW,Hickory,United States
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